TIPS preliminary scene list 27 October 1995

TIPS
preliminary scene list
27 October 1995, 2:18 pm
31 October 1995, 1:45 pm
1 NOVEMBER 1995, 3:02 PM

Opening title: Somewhere in Miami; Sometime in the 1980s

ACT ONE

Caroline Callahan, student/waitress, is having a bad day. No one’s tipping her at work, and she has a final exam that night. Her shift ends at 3:30pm, but she has to be at school, 20 minutes away at 4. Her last customer, a wealthy and obnoxious businessman type, gets pissed when she accidentally spills some coffee on his coat sleeve. He leaves her a written tip: Bet on #5 in the sixth race, before leaving.

Waitresses have to stay until their last customer finishes — Caroline could be pissed at this guy already, already late for class, before she even gets stiffed on the tip & leaves.

GOOD, BUT I LIKE THE HORSE-RACING TIP FROM ORIGINAL. I WANT TO TRY TO USE ALL THE VARIATIONS ON "TIP" IN THIS SCRIPT AS POSSIBLE
Leaving work, Caroline is driving in hellish Miami afternoon rush hour traffic. She reaches over into her bag to find some notes to study at a traffic light, but loses her concentration and accidentally cuts off a driver in a fancy Corvette. He hits her car and she discovers that he has no insurance. He gives her a $100 bill and drives off. Caroline, furious, makes a "gun" out of her hand and shoots him as he drives away. She then pushes the car off the road into a parking lot and hails a cab to take her to school.

C. pushes the car off the road by herself? Don't think so. How about Juan actually (gasp) helps her here (after all, he's not 100% asshole). This'd be a good opportunity to develop the hate between them. Besides, they've kind of got to push the car out of traffic to speak at all.

UHH, WHY WOULD HE HELP HER? I LIKE YOUR SUGGESTION DOWN AT #4 BETTER.
The driver who hit Caroline’s car, Juan Aquino, arrives at Franco’s. Franco’s is a strip bar on the Intracoastal waterway in N. Miami Beach. He walks through the grungy, dimly lit, main part of the club to the outside balcony. Waiting for him there is Harvey Johnson. Juan proposes a bird smuggling deal to gain an apprenticeship from Harvey. Scene from "The Deal" ensues.

Juan Aquino ... sounds too much like a brand of tequila? naah...

WHATEVER ... IT'S BETTER THAN NORIEGA (WHICH WAS IN THE ORIGINAL). IT'S MORE CUBAN. IN THIS SCENE, THE DEAL SETS THE TONE FOR JUAN AND HARVEY'S SUBPLOT, SO WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE WE HAVE A GOOD "DEAL" FOR THEM TO USE (OTHER THAN THE OSTRICH).
After her exam, Caroline has a brief moment of celebration that the semester’s over with some friends and then asks one to take her back to where her accident was (she left the car in a parking lot) so she could call a tow truck to take it to a repair shop, where she gets an estimate for $900.

C. could be on a partial scholarship (shows she's got a mind); has to do well in this class to keep the scholarship going next semester. Instead of car in parking lot, she could have left it at the side of the road & find out it's been towed? more $$ ... could've been towed from the lot, too.

GOOD IDEA. I LIKE BOTH OF THEM. I FAVOUR HER LEAVING THE CAR IN THE LOT IN SCENE 2 (BECAUSE SHE'S IN SUCH A RUSH) AND THEN FIND IT TOWED LATER.
In the car with Joey, her ex-boyfriend, she tells him how shitty her day was, and he listens sympathetically. When they arrive at the car he tries to make a move on her to get back together and she politely declines.

JOEY TELLS HER HE'LL CALL HER LATER, AND HE DOES IN ACT TWO SOMEWHERE, AND SHE TELLS HIM SHE'S UNEMPLOYED. THEN LATER, AFTER SHE STARTS AT FRANCO'S (LATE IN THE ACT), THEY MEET FOR COFFEE AND SHE LIES ABOUT THE ART DEALER.
Caroline comes home, and in the mail is her tuition bill for that semester. Her roommate, Eliza, comes home and demands half the rent for the monthly check. Caroline realizes that she’s flat broke and is in big trouble. She calls her parents, but they can’t help her out at all.

Eliza should be developed or eliminated ... she's unimportant, or even a hindrance, as is. C.'s parents can't or won't help out?

I THINK E. CAN BE DUMPED NOW. PARENTS CAN'T HELP, AND WON'T EVEN IF THE COULD.
The next morning. Caroline is awakened by a phone call. It’s her boss at the diner, firing her for not showing up. She begs for the job back, but he doesn’t give it to her. Eliza has no sympathy, and requests the rent money. Despondent, Caroline looks through the classifieds for a job.

If Eliza is eliminated, C. lives alone, can't pay the electric bill, so the power gets turned off — no alarm clock (too much?)

YES, TOO MUCH. WE COULD SHOW C. HITTING SNOOZE BUTTON MULTIPLE TIMES.
Harvey takes Juan out for his first mission. Tells him the story of the Saint while driving.

The Saint?
Caroline calls one of the ads in the paper, for an art dealer, and goes to the dealership for an interview.
Coincidentally enough, Harvey and Juan show up at the art dealership for their own meeting with the dealer as Caroline’s in her interview. They storm in, guns drawn, and insist that the dealer give them the paintings he has stashed in the back. Caroline recognizes Juan and insists on $800 for the car repairs. Juan responds by sticking a gun in her face and threatening to kill her. Harvey has to calm Juan down in order to save Caroline’s life. When Harvey and Juan go to the backroom to take care of business with the dealer, Caroline wisely leaves. The dealer comes out with the paintings, but doesn’t have the money to pay Harvey.

Need to set up H. and J.'s meeting ... as is, too coincidental that they show up at the same art dealer. C. demanding money from J., if H. and J. come in with "guns drawn," is bold and stupid. Really need to set up meeting ... confusing.

GOOD POINT ABOUT C'S DEMANDING MONEY WITH H. AND J. ARMED. HOW CAN WE SET UP MEETING WITH DEALER? MAYBE HAVE HARVEY ON PHONE WITH HIM IN SCENE 3 BEFORE JUAN SHOWS UP (AS IS, HE'S JUST SIPPING A BEER OUTSIDE WAITING)?
Caroline leaves interview and takes a bus home (car is still in shop). On bus, she looks at ad for a waitress job for Franco’s.

IF WE ELIMINATE ELIZA, THEN C. CAN SEE HELP WANTED SIGN OUTSIDE OF FRANCO'S FROM BUS. SHE DECIDES TO QUICKLY GET OFF AT NEXT EXIT AND GO IN FOR INTERVIEW.
At home, she bites the bullet and calls Franco.

C. sets up interview at Franco's for the same day she calls?

IF WE USE MY SUGGESTIONS FOR SCENE 11, WE CUT THIS SCENE (OBVIOUSLY).
Juan and Harvey return to Franco’s. Enjoying the sights and a beer, they don’t seem surprised at all when Caroline shows up. Again, they want to kill each other. Harvey seems to be enjoying the situation. He cracks: You two are either gonna end up in love or killing each other. Both Juan and Caroline seem to think the latter. To calm the situation down, Harvey leaves with Juan. While she’s alone, waiting for Franco, Caroline starts to have second thoughts. She sees the women around her, but also sees the tuition and repair bills in her bag. She decides to go for it. During interview with Franco, he explains that if she chooses to waitress topless, she’ll get more tips and a higher salary.

Tuition/repair bills shown in C.'s bag is too easy.

YEAH, I KNOW. HOW DOES SHE MAKE DECISION THEN? (OF COURSE, SHE COULD'VE ALREADY MADE THE DECISION ON THE BUS.)
Juan and Harvey in car make call on car phone (remember: new technology then) re: birds.

CALL JERRY (C.'S DAD/HARVEY'S CONTACT) HERE? OR CALL J.'S COUSIN?

ACT TWO

Major transition in C. — shock the audience with her (seemingly ... 2 weeks have passed) sudden fall into decadence

Title card: Two weeks later. Caroline is loving her job. She doesn’t even mind being topless while waitressing. The tips are amazing, she’s telling Eliza, and no one she knows will ever go to Franco’s. It’s too far away from everyone she knows. Outside, her car is back, and looks great.

Have C. tell friends about her job instead of Eliza?

BETTER IDEA: INTRODUCE ELIZA HERE, AS A DANCER AT CLUB, WHO EXPLAINS THAT C. WOULD MAKE SOOO MUCH MORE MONEY DANCING. I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA OF C. BRAGGING ABOUT JOB.
Juan and Harvey at Franco’s, discussing plans to move ostriches (ostri) from Palm Beach down to Miami, so they can load them onto Harvey’s boat, Gloria.

The Deal

INSERT SCENE HERE OF JOEY CALLING C. AND SHE TELLING HIM SHE'S UNEMPLOYED. THEN IN 19 SHE TELLS HIM ABOUT THE ART DEALER.
Caroline arrives for work. Is forced to serve Juan and Harvey. Harvey flirts with her, but Juan ignores her, and just orders a beer.

H.'s flirting — discussion of C.'s ... uhh ... "tips." Caroline goes from waitressing to dancing, maybe on H.'s recommendation to Franco?

MORE USES OF TIPS: GOOD. HOW ABOUT ELIZA AND H'S RECOMMENDATIONS TO FRANCO?
Detectives Tockett (black man) and Crubbs (white woman) in car outside of Franco’s, surveilling the place. Talk of smuggling.

Bah on "Tockett" and "Crubbs" ... blatant & just not funny (see char. notes)

OK. MAYBE MAKE DETECTIVES DEA INVESTIGATING THE CLUB?
Caroline at home, getting call from old boyfriend, Joey. Wants to get back together with her, and she’s lukewarm, but not opposed to the idea. He picks her up for a drink.
At a bar, Joey asks Caroline if she has a new job yet, and she lies and says she works for the art dealer that she interviewed with.

Do they have oyster bars in Mia.?.. comedy possibility. Joey has to know about the interview w/ the art dealer before this scene (or at least during it).

OYSTER BARS? SURE. I DUNNO WHAT HUMOR COULD BE INSERTED HERE, THOUGH. SORRY, I MEANT THAT SHE INTERVIEWED AND GOT A JOB WITH THE ART DEALER.
Juan and Harvey meet with Juan’s family in Palm Beach.

Cut scene? Why needed? see sc. 37

THIS IS HERE JUST TO "REMIND" THE AUDIENCE THAT J. AND H. HAVE A DEAL IN THE MOVIE. IT'S KIND OF FORGOTTEN FOR A WHILE. THIS SHOULD BE A SHORT SCENE.
Joey goes to visit Caroline at dealership, where the (very much alive) dealer says she doesn’t work. When Joey shows a photo, he remembers her, and says she was with Juan and Harvey. Joey leaves, suspicious.

Careful ... Joey could look like a possessed wacko here.

HMM, I THOUGHT MORE LIKE HE'S IN LOVE. BRINGS FLOWERS, LOOKS EMBARRASSED WHEN FINDS OUT THAT SHE LIED TO HIM.
Caroline at work, talking with Harvey in between dances (she’s moved up from waitressing). They talk about his boat, and when her shift is over, they go out to it.

Make C.'s transition from waitressing to dancing a scene (back in sc. 17?)

GOOD IDEA. HOW BOUT FRANCO AND HER TALKING IN A SCENE AFTER 21 AND BEFORE 22. JOEY FINDS OUT ABOUT HER LIE AS SHE'S PROGRESSING FURTHER INTO IT.
On the Gloria. Harvey’s boat is a piece of junk, but he only speaks of it lovingly. Tells story of how he named it after his wife, who was killed by the Mob twenty years before when his old boat was firebombed. He survived, barely, with burns on his legs. Caroline asks to see the burns, and he pulls down his pants to show her. They are on the back of his thighs, and he tells her how they sometime still flare up, and need a cream spread on them. Caroline agrees to rub it on Harvey, and soon enough they are both undressed, making love on the deck under the full moon.

Don't use "The Mob" ... make it some random drug kingpin or something. Lovemaking scene okay or lame?

NIX THE MOB. OK. DUNNO WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT "OKAY OR LAME"?
The next morning. Harvey sails back into the dock to make a few phone calls, and Caroline wakes up alone. She explores his boat a bit and finds some cocaine. She takes a little sniff, and likes it. She lines up a hit, and then snorts that, too. Harvey comes back to find her high as a kite and horny.

WE DON'T KNOW WHO HARVEY CALLS, BUT IT'S NOT NECESSARY OR IMPORTANT. JUST RANDOM CALLS.
Joey shows up at Caroline’s and talks to Eliza. Eliza covers for Caroline, knowing that she’s over with some other guy, and tells Joey that Caroline is visiting her parents up in Ft. Lauderdale. Right as Joey’s about to leave, Caroline comes home, and Joey confronts her about the art dealer (tells her that the guy had never heard of her, not the truth) and she tells him that was a subtle hint to fuck off.

Put this in Franco's? Maybe move scene later (Act III), and have Joey track her down. Instead of talking to E., he could be talking to Franco, or some b'tender, and C. comes in, high on cocaine, after another fling w/ H. Or else make it some friend of Caroline's if E. is eliminated. Also, why does Joey lie here? I prefer him as the sole, dumb, moral component — he's in love w/ C.

YEAH, MOVE TO BEGINNING OF III. I DUNNO ABOUT JOEY BEING THE MORAL COMPASS OF STORY, SINCE HE'S IN THINK HE SHOULD BE THE COP-IN-TRAINING (IE, NIX ERIC). HOW BOUT HE'S TALKING TO FRANCO, AND C. COMES IN, ETC.
Juan shows up at Harvey’s boat. Harvey tells him that he’s in love, and hopes Juan doesn’t mind that it’s Caroline. Juan says he doesn’t care, but Harvey still thinks the two are destined for one another.

J. doesn't care, even though he hates C.?

WHAT I MEANT WAS THAT JUAN DOESN'T CARE ABOUT C. HE TRIES NOT TO THINK OF HER. HIS REACTION TO H. AND HER'S INVOLVEMENT PROBABLY SHOULD CHANGE, BUT IT DOESN'T CHANGE H. AND C.

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