Fal-net > Tierra Del Fuego / Notes for Green Draft

Notes for Green Draft

In May 1997, a month after the first (Blue) draft was completed, Michael took some notes for the second draft, which was going to be the Green draft.

Remove or expand the ex-girlfriend character
Move meeting with Rose earlier (first club visit?) and expand her role more
Give more back story to Mary/Charles and Julian’s history
Show more espionage of Julian by Preacher
Move scene of Mary introducing Preacher to Jesus back to allow espionage pictures to arrive in San Diego
Redo the "disappearing knife" scene
Dialogue: contractions
How did Preacher and Mary meet? (Mary blame God for miscarriage?); Get a little background on who the Preacher is and what he does, then move to Mary when he gives her the mission
Show Preacher having more of a concern about Mary’s marriage
Fix contradiction of Mary "dreaming" of Julian before she sees the picture
Explain Julian’s fascination with Magellan earlier
Argument between Julian and Preacher seems "wrong"
"Way too prosaic"
Punch up Save the Earth scene; Julian’s editorial
It might be more effective if Julian doesn't examine the wound quite so much — more like when he injures the second hand than the first.
Mary|Mary parallel
Specify Julian’s city
Expand the "e-mail" thread
Julian: too lethargic
Glen’s idea for new opening: The film's opening is in the freak storm in San Diego (which is described briefly in the electronics store). We see the lightning flash and the start of the brush fire. Show firefighting airplane fading to airplane at airport. Julian in the airport – the next day (by the way, you have Julian sitting in the airport overnight ... not sure whether that was intentional). I was at some airport several years ago that showed CNN at the gates -- there's your first report of the out-of-control brush fire ... Julian could get lost in that, in the flashback (which brings that up to the very beginning), and broken out by that guy who knows him, with the family.
Glen’s idea for ending: I also think the fire should be tied in somehow in the ending. I think the ending is somewhat unfulfilling as you currently have it, and the fire motif would add the spark that would set it apart.